What is gaslighting in a relationship?

Quick Answer: Gaslighting in a relationship is a form of emotional manipulation or abuse where one partner makes the other doubt their own memories, feelings, or perception of reality. It’s designed to confuse, control, and weaken confidence.

What Gaslighting Means

• Definition: Gaslighting happens when someone repeatedly denies facts, twists events, or dismisses your feelings until you start questioning yourself. 
• Goal: The gaslighter wants power and control, often by making you feel insecure or dependent.
• Impact: Over time, the victim may lose trust in their own judgment, identity, and self‑worth. 

Common Gaslighting Behaviors

• Denying events: “That never happened, you’re imagining things.”
• Twisting reality: Changing details of a story to make you doubt your memory.
• Invalidating feelings: “You’re too sensitive, stop overreacting.”
• Shifting blame: Making you feel guilty for their mistakes.
• Using love as defense: “I only say this because I love you.”

Effects on the Victim

• Self‑doubt: Constantly questioning your own thoughts.
• Isolation: Feeling cut off from friends or support.
• Loss of confidence: Believing you can’t trust yourself.
• Emotional exhaustion: Feeling drained and confused.

How to Respond

• Recognize the signs: Awareness is the first step.
• Trust your intuition: If something feels wrong, it probably is.
• Seek support: Talk to trusted friends, family, or a counselor.
• Set boundaries: Limit manipulative conversations.
• Prioritize self‑care: Protect your mental and emotional health.

Takeaway

Gaslighting is not just “lying” or “arguing”—it’s a pattern of manipulation that erodes confidence and control. Recognizing it early helps protect your emotional well‑being and maintain healthier relationships.